A Secret Admirer

I had a secret admirer in high school.  He was smart and funny and full of joy.

The first thing that came was a wanted poster taped to my door.  It was a drawing of me as a western outlaw. Then there were hilarious letters describing my wild west antics.  When he finally revealed himself, he would write nonsensical poems in a made up language - O Manhiem De Lo De Cookie, was one.  They were brilliant!

When he finally asked me out, it was to be a day at the park with kids from school.  Cool, athletic kids.  I was neither cool, nor athletic.  It was a lovely day and we were to play all kinds of sports. 

Yeaaaah, that was a disaster.

I was completely self centered, vapid, vacuous and soooo not into sports.  I wanted the date to be about me.  So I sat, looking as exquisitely dejected as I could possibly look.  The other kids just kept playing, occasionally giving me a desrved stink-eye.

It must have seen to him that I was bored with him, or maybe he felt like I thought I was above all the fun they were having.

After that, he called me a couple of times, just to talk.  I was oblivious to the fact that he still liked me.  Ah, well.  Sorry, Howard Gensler!  You were such a sweetheart!

Had I been less self absorbed, I might have picked up on that, but then, I would not have moved to the east coast with my parents and would never have met my wonderful husband, who saw right through my ridiculously shallow self and saw something good in me, as Howard had, that I simply could not see.   

And that, my dear Mary, is my secret admirer story!

For My Glitter Guru, Mary the Marvelous

Mary England's link up this month is all about SELF LOVE.  I've been in such a funk lately, that I didn't think I could do it, so she suggested that I write some things that I like about myself.  Here it goes:

I learned at an early age to laugh at myself.  I was the youngest and the only girl.  Do the horrifying math, it was do or die!

I'm funny, even if it's only me cracking myself up.

I make a mean pirate.  Observe my pirate hat carefully.  See?  I can be funny.

I practice non judgment.  If anyone criticize you, it has nothing to do with you.  It's a judgement they are making about themselves.  It's worth the practice it to accept that.  It sure feels personal!  Sometimes it's just easier to react with hurt or anger.  Read The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz.  It helped me so much!

I practice non attachment.  I love being surrounded by brilliant colorful art.  If we had to sell everything and move to a one room apartment, I would paint a wall, find or make colorful art to fit the space.

I like my smile.  This is humongous for me.  I have always hated my smile.  I have thin lips that turn down at the corners when my face is relaxed.  Yes, I've been asked many times why I am frowning. When I smile it looks like a straight line with no lips.  How did I over come this smile loathing?  I worked for three years with Cool2Craft making craft video tutorials.  Tiffany Windsor saw something in me that she thought was worth mentoring.  Passion for creativity.  I always reviewed my footage before I sent it to her and I found, as I became more relaxed. that I was giving birth to my whimsical mojo.  My smiles were genuine and spontaneous.  Thank you, Tiffany.

And thank you, Mary England , you amazing source of glittery happiness!